


Before and After

by fandommatchmaker19



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 17:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17564498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandommatchmaker19/pseuds/fandommatchmaker19
Summary: She hits a wall, falling down like a ragdoll and then, she’s being pulled by strong hands and there’s a body covering her – Ripley’s – as the entire structure falls on top of them.“At least now you can’t accuse me of not caring,” he says after a while and Vic quirks her eyebrow.From prompt: Pre-relatipnship - Ripley saves Vic's life during a call and ends up badly hurt. She feels guilty because last time she saw him she accused him of not caring. She spends a little bit more time at the hospital than she probably should making sure that he is okay.





	Before and After

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madnephelite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnephelite/gifts).



> This is for another prompt by madnephelite and it's 97% angst and 3% fluff. This fic also shows the ending of episode 2x04 as well as a Vicley moment once they're together! I hope you enjoy cause it took me a while to write this one!

It felt like she was blindfolded. Or, like someone was holding something over her eyes, keeping her from opening them. She fought against the pressure and finally managed to pry them open only to see Andy and Maya leaning over her as they prodded at her. Light hit her field of vision and Vic closed her eyes again, before opening them. Her friends were yelling for her, but she wasn’t hearing them. It was like she was underwater, like she was drowning. She could feel her friends prodding at her, making sure she was alright, shouting at each other over the clamor of firefighting, but she couldn’t actually hear what anyone was saying.

She couldn’t remember what had happening and had little idea of what was happening at the moment. The last thing she remembered was an explosion and being thrown against a wall, then the ceiling falling. And, she vaguely remembered somebody covering her with their body when that happened.

And, then, “get him to Grey Sloan! His abdomen’s tender and rigid which most likely means internal bleeding. Also, he likely has a pelvic fracture!” Warren was shouting at someone else.

“Keep venting!” she heard Gibson shout into the radio. “Miller, I need you!”

Vic’s mind was swimming. _Why was Gibson shouting orders? Where was Ripley?_

“Wh- what’s going on?” she asked, grabbing Maya’s hand in an attempt to get her friend’s attention.

“Don’t worry, Vic, everything’s gonna be fine!”

“Wh-who has ab-abdominal bleeding?”

“Ripley. He- do you not remember what happened?” Maya asks, looking at her with a concerned expression.

“N-not really,” Vic replies and Maya nods.

“Hey, Andy, I need a C-collar. Also, I think she has a mild concussion!” Maya shouts and Andy joins them with a C-collar.

“Maya,” she tries to protest, but her friend doesn’t pay attention to her.

And, then she’s being rolled into the back of an ambulance and the next thing she knows she’s at Grey Sloan.

* * *

Victoria Hughes couldn’t believe that she’d yelled at Chief Ripley a second time and now he was interim captain of station 19.

Now, he ordered them to do chores, he made rosters for them, he told them what to do when out on calls, he pushed them to be their best, he reprimanded them when they screwed up and praised them when they did something right. The latter was rare, but when it happened she could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice that he was sincere. Vic wasn’t sure why she’d started paying attention to his facial expression and his voice, but she’d started noticing that most of the time he kept emotion at bay, his voice was often kind, yet detached unless they did something great and he felt the need to tell them so. Vic herself hadn’t been in that position, but then again she didn’t really feel the need to be noticed by the Chief. Ever since the skyscraper, Vic had been regretting yelling at Ripley (again, mind you), but she hadn’t had the chance to apologize, so she’d been avoiding him. Granted, he’d only been their interim captain for the past two weeks, and Vic was sure that at one point he would make her apologize for what she said, but that hadn’t happened yet. The first shift, since the skyscraper, she’d been on Aid Car; the next – they'd had so many calls, they barely stopped to eat. She’d also managed to avoid him by swapping with Andy on Aid Car on another shift, so she could take her dad home from the hospital at one point. Unfortunately, her stunt on the Aid Car to avoid Ripley had come to an end because Ripley had put her on engine with himself and Gibson for this particular shift.

“Hughes, may I have a word?” he asked once he had finished his breakfast. 

“Yes, sir,” she said – squeaked – and followed him to his – the captain’s – office. Ripley closed the door and sat behind desk. Vic stood and watched him. He seemed calm and pleasant and his expression was open, but unreadable. Vic sucked in a nervous breath.

“Have a seat, Hughes,” he said and Vic sat down in the chair by the desk. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, and watched him, perplexed.

“Is there something you wanted to discuss, Chief?” she asked, getting some of her bravado back. Ripley nodded curtly.

“Yes, actually. I understand that you are used to being able to speak your mind to your superiors-”

“This has nothing to do with Jack and Andy,” Vic interrupted him to say, immediately on the defensive.

“That’s enough, Hughes. Look, I’d rather not take any disciplinary action for what happened at the skyscraper. You were upset, Montgomery’s your friend and you took it out on me. I understand that. But, I won’t accept it. I told you, if you come at me like that again you’d be fired. You’re a good firefighter, Hughes. I don’t want to have to let you go.”

“Is that it?” she quips, covering up the pang of guilt she felt when he brought up Montgomery with cynicism.

“You could apologize,” he says calmly, arching one eyebrow.

Vic feels like a child sent to the principal’s office, like she felt when she punched a kid in fifth grade after he made fun of her hair. She remembers having apologized for getting violent with him, but she hadn’t been sorry. But, this is different. This is her boss. Her boss’s boss’s boss.

“Ah, yes, sorry I yelled at you at the skyscraper,” she says, fumbling slightly, nervous and flushed and not sounding very apologetic.

Ripley looks like he’s about to say something else, possibly comment on her crappy apology when the alarm blares throughout the fire station and Vic jumps up from her seat and races to the engine. She puts on her gear and hops in the back without waiting for Ripley or Gibson.

They arrive at a warehouse that had caught fire. It’s an empty one since the company that used to own it had gone into liquidation and the building had been cleared of all stock, but hadn’t been re-leased. There were two other warehouses on either side of the burning one and those two weren’t cleared out. Vic hopped out of the engine and the entire team assembled in front of Ripley.

“Alright, I would like to let this structure go, but we have two more warehouses on either side of it which are filled with materials. We don’t know the nature of those material yet, so I want Bishop and Herrera to start sweeping the D-side structure and Hughes and Miller start with the B-side structure. Gibson do a 360 of the perimeter and Warren you’re on hydrant. Let me know what you find and if we need to, we’ll reassess. Go!”

Andy and Maya both put on their SCBA gear and raced to D-side while Vic and Dean did the same and went to the B-side.

As it turned out, the D-side building was filled with fuels and fertilizers and Andy and Maya called for reinforcements to help clear it out. Meanwhile, the B-side was filled with various non-explosive materials, so Ripley called for Miller to go help Bishop and Herrera while Vic continued the sweep herself.

She was sweeping, slowly moving upstairs when she heard a noise behind her. She turned to see Ripley standing behind her, fully geared up.

“Sir? What- what’re you doing here?” she asks, confused.

“Thought I’d give you a hand. Gibson’s got a handle on the venting and Bishop and Herrera are dealing with the D-side building. We plan to surround and drown after you and I are done with this sweep,” he explains and Vic can only stare at him.

“Um…you and I?” she asks and kicks herself for sounding so ridiculous.

“Yes, Hughes. You and I. Now, come on,” he says, voice laced with an accent she can’t quite place, and marches on ahead of her.

“Right, yeah,” Vic mutters and starts walking behind him. Ripley’s charging on ahead, Vic scrambling behind him, and together they clear the first floor. They’re about to clear the second floor when Vic feels the ground begin to become unstable. “Chief? Can you feel that?” she asks and Ripley turns towards her, his face unreadable.

“Yes, I can. Now, Hughes, don’t panic. Everything will be fine. Just try to make your way towards me,” he says and she catches a slight panic in his voice.

“I’m not panicking, sir. Are you?” she quips as she ambles along the wall towards him.

“Of course not,” he retorts and Vic had never pegged the Chief for the type to retort back, but she doesn’t really know him. And, then, just as she reaches him, he extends his hand for her to take, but the floor beneath her collapses her and she falls, letting out a scream. Unfortunately for him, he _had_ managed to grab her hand, so he fell on top of her.

“Well, that wasn’t how it was supposed to go,” Vic jokes, beaming at him. Ripley lets out a chuckle before rolling off of her and standing up.

“Can you stand?” he asks her as he continues to visually asses their situation.

“Yep,” Vic replies, standing herself and wincing slightly. “Ouch, a little sore, but I’m fine,” she half mutters.

Then, Ripley’s talking to Herrera, who had momentarily taken command, since she and Bishop had finished clearing out the D-side building.

“We’re fine, but we can’t really get out of here. I might need a RIT team over here, but the structure isn’t sound yet. How’s the venting going? And is the fire out?” Ripley shouts into the radio. Vic is moving towards him, to get a better idea of what’s going on when radio crackles with Herrera’s voice.

“Sir, we’re gonna have to lose the second building, we’re venting, but it seems to not be helping much. But, we’ve managed to extinguish some of the fire. I’m sending in Bishop, Gibson and Warren after you and Hughes,” Andy replies.

“No, don’t send anyone in!” Ripley shouts.

“But, sir-”

“We’ll be fine, Herrera! Hughes and I are both physically fine. We’ll get out, don’t worry. Let me worry about us and you worry about D-side building and let Gibson deal with venting. Keep the RIT on standby, but don’t send anyone in, alright?”

Vic could hear the hesitation in Andy’s voice when she conceded, “yes, sir!” before she was yelling at someone else.

“So, how do we… how do we get out of here?” Vic asks as she eyes Ripley.

“I’m assessing and waiting for more word form Herrera,” he replies, and she nods, and then there’s an explosion somewhere above them. Ripley’s eyes are trained upwards, and then without warning she feels the entire structure explode. She’s thrown backwards and she can hear Ripley shouting for her. She hits a wall, falling down like a ragdoll and then, she’s being pulled by strong hands and there’s a body covering her – Ripley’s – as the entire structure falls on top of them.

For several minutes, everything seems to have frozen and time seems to have stopped. And, then, Vic manages to twist and push away some of the debris covering them. When she has more space, she manages to roll Ripley off of her and finds that he’s unconscious. Quickly, Vic takes off his SCBA gear as well as her own and notices that he has a laceration across his forehead as well as several cuts. Immediately, she grabs her radio.

“Mayday, mayday! Firefighter down. The structure collapsed on top of Chief Ripley and myself. We need immediate assistance, he’s lost consciousness. He-” she shouts, cutting herself off at the end.

“Hughes! I’m sending in a RIT team, we’re gonna try to get you of there!” Andy shouts back into the radio. “Is Ripley injured?”

“Not sure, yet, gonna assess. He’s got some lacerations all over his face, but I don’t know what injuries he has yet. He- he took most of the fall of the structure,” Vic replies. “His pulse is thready, though,” she says as she puts her fingers to his throat.

“Okay, just hang tight. We’ll get you out of there!” Andy shouts back before she’s ordering the others.

So, Vic starts prodding at Ripley to determine how injured he is. When she takes off his helmet, she sees he’s got a cut at the back of his head. She also finds that his abdomen is rigid and thinks internal bleeding. And, then, Vic feels the structure shake again and she reflexively covers Ripley’s body with her own. There’s a loud crash coming from above them, reverberating through the structure and then Vic can feel more debris hitting her back before her world goes black.

* * *

She could see him grabbing her hand as she fell through the floor of the warehouse. She remembered him falling on top of her. Then, she remembers being thrown against the wall and falling down like a ragdoll. And, Ripley, yelling for her before he’s diving on top of her. Then, she blanks out for a few seconds and the next thing she knows she scrambling towards him, pushing debris away from her as she tries to find his pulse. Her heart hammering in her chest and her heartbeat hammering in her ears before she finds his pulse – slow and thready, but there. Then, she feels the structure around her shake again and she covers him with her own body before it goes blank yet again. Then, she’s awake as Maya and Andy are prodding at her while yelling at someone else about Ripley and a rigid abdomen and getting to Grey Sloan stat. And, then she blanks out again before she awakes in the back of an ambulance and she grips a hand – Maya’s and she’s taken to riding in the back of the ambulance with Montgomery on the night of the skyscraper. But, she loses consciousness again.

The next time she wakes up, she’s at Grey Sloan with Maya, Miller and Warren all around her and Dr. Bailey is also there next to Andrew DeLucca.

“Vic!” her friends all exclaim, and Maya rushes forward about to wrap her arms around Vic, but stopping just before.

“Hey, Hughes,” DeLucca greets her with a smile.

“Hey,” she greets everyone, voice breathless and whispery and DeLucca hands her a plastic cup of water. “Thanks,” she murmurs before taking a few sips, the water heavenly for her dry throat.

“Victoria,” Dr. Bailey starts and Vic winces. “You are one lucky gal! I was told your boss covered you when the damn warehouse collapsed on top of you,” Dr. Bailey says smiling at her. “So, you had some bruises and a mild concussion and I’d like to keep you here over night, but otherwise you seem fine. You have a small splenic lac, but we’re managing that with fluids,” Dr. Bailey explains softly. “You’re going to be okay,” she adds, patting Vic gently on the shoulder.

Dr. Bailey isn’t exactly a soft person – when she’s ordering other doctors in the ER or around the hospital, when she’s telling Ben off for something, even with team at 19, like when she orders Captain Herrera to take care of himself or when she tells Miller to stop fooling around during dinner – she’s a bossy person. Vic herself had been on the receiving end of Dr. Bailey’s bossy attitude when she had been hard on Warren when Montgomery was hurt. But, now, Vic was on the receiving end of Dr. Bailey’s soft, gentle, patient-friendly stellar bedside manner.

“Thanks, Dr. Bailey,” Vic replies, smiling at her. “How’s… how’s Chief Ripley? His pulse was thready, his abdomen was rigid and-”

“He’s fine, he’s in surgery. Dr. Grey and Dr. Hunt are operating on him. They’re both very good,” Dr.  Bailey says kindly.

“That’s good,” Vic replies numbly. She cannot quite wrap her mind around the fact that Ripley had jumped to cover her body with his when the explosion had occurred and the entire structure had collapsed on top of them.

And, her mind flashes back to the night of the skyscraper and it’s like she’s suddenly awake. It’s like she finally sees Ripley for who he is – someone who cares. And, at the skyscraper, she’d accused him of not caring. She feels like an idiot.

“Vic? Vic, you okay?” she hears Warren and Maya ask her and she blinks before looking towards them.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m fine!” Vic says, giving them all a bright smile. Maya rolls her eyes and Warren chuckles.

“Well, I’ll leave you all then,” Dr. Bailey says, clapping Vic lightly on the shoulder and exchanging a quick kiss with Warren that makes them all turn, laughing.

Once Bailey leaves, the four of them dive right into an easy conversation and they’re all laughing when Andy and Jack enter her hospital room.

“How’s your pain?” Warren asks after a while as he plops on the bed beside her.

“Not too bad,” Vic quips, though the pain had been getting a bit worse since Dr. Bailey left.

“Nice try, but I’m a doctor, too,” Warren quips before handing her the pain button. Vic rolls her eyes, but takes it and presses, smiling at Warren gratefully.

And, then, her mind is flooded yet again by images of Ripley covering her body to protect her, screams as they both fall through the floors, the explosion ringing in her ears, his body strong on top of hers as the entire structure falls on top of them.

* * *

She is discharged the next day, the concussion healed and her splenic lac healing, though she is ordered to take it easy for a few days. Ripley – who, apparently is fine for the moment and captaining Station 19 from the hospital – orders her to take the week off. But, Vic cannot leave the hospital. She feels like she needs to – has to – stay and so she wonders across the hospital, up and down the halls. She drops by Montgomery’s room, but her best friend whom she’s been avoiding, is asleep. Grant is sleeping in the chair next to him, their fingers loosely tangled together and Vic smiles fondly.

So, instead of watching her best friend and his boyfriend sleeping, she wonders through the hospital some more and finds herself in the ICU of the hospital, looking for a certain patient.

“And, what are _you_ doing here?” a voice asks behind her and Vic turns to find Dr. Bailey looking at her expectantly, one eyebrow raised.

“Dr. Bailey! Oh, hi!” Vic exclaims, but Dr. Bailey doesn’t seem too impressed.

“Care to explain why you’re wondering around my hospital?” Dr. Bailey asks with a frown.

“Hum… oh nothing- no reason, nup, none-” Vic negates, shaking her head, but Dr. Bailey rolls her eyes.

“Nice try. He’s in room 2208,” she says and Vic arches a confused eyebrow.

“He who? Cause I was just by Travis’ and he was asleep. Pretty sure that wasn’t-”

“Ripley. Your boss. Who saved your life. Thought you might want to say thank you,” Dr. Bailey says, giving Vic one of those no-nonsense glares before leaving.

Vic sighs. Ripley. Right.

Ever since she’d woken up, she’d been plagued by guilt about the skyscraper and she’d thought of going to see Ripley and apologize. She’d been mad about Travis and had taken her feelings out on Ripley. And, she might not get the chance to apologize or thank him, so she decides to go off to Ripley’s room. Despite the fact that she’d been discharged the day after the accident, she’d stayed in the hospital. At first, it was the pretense to see Montgomery. But, she rarely dropped by to actually see him. Instead she hung out with DeLucca and occasionally managed to get some information on Ripley. Apparently, they’d taken him to surgery where they had to repair his internal bleeding by removing his spleen, they’d set his shoulder and put it in a cast and they’d put him in ICU to monitor his minor brain bleed and other injuries. So, Vic had stuck around, sat beside Ripley as he recovered when no one was looking and generally explored the hospital. She also hung around the interns without them noticing, and the interns often let details about Ripley slip in casual conversation. She can’t imagine how Warren had done this for five years or more. But, now, would be the first time she’d be checking in on Ripley openly. Not, that she had anything to hide.

Ripley was sitting up and reading when she entered. His cuts were slowly healing and his shoulder was in a cast and he was surrounded by beeping machines. When she entered, wearing casual civilian clothes, he looked up.

“Hughes! Hey, come on in,” he greeted her and Vic raised an eyebrow. He was probably high on morphine.

“Chief! Hi, how are you feeling, sir?” Vic greets, voice chipper, though it’s more due to anxiety on her part.

“I’m good. They’ve got me on some pretty strong painkillers here. Yourself?”

“I’m good, too. I… uh had a mild concussion and a small splenic lac, but they just managed it with fluids. I’m supposed to take it easy the next few days, but-”

“I know. I’m the one who approved your week-long sick leave and yet I hear from Dr. DeLucca that you can’t seem to leave,” Ripley observes, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I just… love it here. And, I was checking up on Montgomery,” she says, smirking slightly. Ripley chuckles himself, but winces as soon as he does and Vic moves forward, but he shakes his head.

“I’m fine,” he says immediately, shaking his head.

“Right,” Vic quips, unconvinced.

“So, was there a particular reason you wanted to see me?” Ripley asks, looking at her in that kind, non-judgmental, open way of his and Vic lets out a breath.

“Not really, sir,” Vic replies and Ripley smiles. He motions for her to sit in the chair by his bed before turns on the TV.

And, this is how it starts. Over the next few days, Vic drops by – using the pretense of visiting Montgomery – but, really, to see Ripley.

On the fourth day she visits him, she decides to apologize. Her mind is spinning a little, plagued by guilt, and Ripley notices.

“Everything alright, Hughes?” Ripley asks, arching one eyebrow.

She thinks she should start with an apology, but instead, she blurts out, “you saved my life!”

Ripley doesn’t say anything. He stares at her for a few moments before letting out a soft chuckle. He smiles kindly at her.

“I did.”

“Why?” she asks, though she knows it’s a stupid question.

“Because you’re one of my firefighters.”

“But, you were mad at me. For what I said at the skyscraper,” she says, slightly confused.

“Look, Hughes, what happened at the skyscraper is behind us. I am interim captain of station 19. You are one of my subordinates and one of my firefighters. Of course, I saved you,” he says, smiling kindly at her. The same accent she’d noticed a few days before is back, but Vic can’t place it.

“At least now you can’t accuse me of not caring,” he says after a while and Vic quirks her eyebrow.

“Oh, right, I’m uh sorry about that. I didn’t-” Vic says, all flustered and guilty, but she’s cut off by Ripley.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ripley says amiably. “Water under the bridge,” he says, smiling at her.

“Thanks, sir.”

They both laugh, having become at ease with each other.

Ripley looks like he’s about to say something else when suddenly he goes limp and the machine starts beeping quickly. As a trained EMT, Vic immediately recognizes V-tach. She rushes towards him and presses the blue button by his bed before lowering him, just as an army of doctors rush into the room. Vic’s doing CPR when a nurse pulls her gently away while DeLucca takes over CPR and another one starts bagging Ripley. Vic can only stare from where she stands, leaning against the wall while the doctors try to revive him.

“Paddles!” Dr. Grey shouts as she enters the room. “Get her out of here!” she yells at the nurse who has her arms around her.

“Yes, doctor,” the nurse says before pulling Vic towards the door. But, Vic can’t – won’t – move and she watches as Dr. Grey uses the paddles to bring Ripley back to life.

* * *

After that, she sees Ripley when he introduces them to their new captain, Robert Sullivan, a man who immediately goes to uniform inspection. Ripley gives her a soft look as she quirks an eyebrow at Sullivan’s attitude.

The next time she sees Ripley, is at a support group Sullivan sends her and Travis to when Vic finally spills out her thoughts and feelings on what happened to Travis at the skyscraper. She and Travis even argue about going to group, but in the end she arrives a few minutes late to find Travis already there, an empty seat beside him.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” she greets her best friend and Travis just smiles at her.

“Hey,” he replies.

“How’s the sharing?” she asks as she sits down beside him. Vic’s honestly glad Travis came and she’s glad the two of them are okay now.

“Well, there’s a lot of it,” Travis says with a chuckle and Vic lets out a soft laugh of her own and it feels good, for once, to be laughing with her best friend again.

And, then, Ripley gets up, wearing jeans and a grey sweater that clings perfectly to his body – Vic isn’t blind – and introduces himself.

“Uh, I’ll introduce myself for those of you joining us for the first time,” he begins, smiling pleasantly at all of them. Vic sucks in a deep breath and Travis gives her a sideways glance, but doesn’t comment on it.

“I’m Lucas,” Ripley continues and Vic’s a little surprised that that’s’ his first name, but she soon realizes it fits. “And, I’ve been with Seattle FD for a little over 15 years now,” he says, his voice laced with hints of the accent Vic had heard earlier at the hospital, but never been able to place. “I’ve seen a lot, been through a lot, but an incident I experienced a couple of months ago, it’s…” he pauses, closing his eyes briefly before continuing, “it’s sticking with me.”

And, Vic can’t breathe. Ripley- Lucas is talking about the skyscraper. And, Vic feels like a total idiot. She knows that PTSD happens to firefighters, hell, she’d experienced it first-hand after the blue fire, but she’d never thought that Chief Ripley struggled with it. She’d never thought that the invincible Chief Ripley struggled after making decisions he was always so sure of. And, what’s worse is that she’d accused him of not caring then.

“Most of you were at the skyscraper downtown. It was… I mean that was a beast, right?” Ripley says, his voice less steady than before as continues. For a brief moment, Vic thinks he might stop, but he doesn’t. He just powers through and continues. “When I close my eyes, I can- I can still smell the smoke. I can hear the sound of that explosion. I am…” he trails off, closing his eyes briefly and Vic notices Travis rubbing his thumb along his scar from the surgery Dr. Pierce performed to save his life. Vic smiles softly at her best friend. “I am haunted by it, by… by that night, by the choices I had to make. That’s why this place is so important to me. It’s why each of you are so important to me. Because we understand each other. Because w- we need each other. Cause this job makes us more than colleagues, more than friends… we’re family,” Ripley finishes, smiling at all of them. The room explodes with applause as everyone looks appreciatively at Ripley.

And, when it’s done and everyone mingles with coffee and cookies, she goes to him.

“Chief!” she greets him, approaching him. “Hi!”

“Hey,” he greets her, smiling. “Spotted you sitting in the back with Montgomery. Glad he’s recovered,” he says and Vic bounces nervously on the balls of her feet. Ripley smiles at her.

“I, uh… I wanted to apologize, uh, for the way I spoke to you the night of the skyscraper,” she finally says and she finally means it. She’d tried apologizing once, but then he’d nearly died, and finally she’s apologizing and it feels good because Ripley’s still looking at her in that soft, open way of his, blue eyes twinkling. “If I… if I was part of making that incident harder on you, I’m… um, I’m sorry,” she says, giving Ripley a soft smile. She knows she may not have had a lot to do with Ripley experiencing some PTSD from the skyscraper, but she’d hate it if she did and didn’t apologize.

“I appreciate that, Hughes,” Ripley replies kindly. “I understood where you were coming from,” he says, smiling at her.

“I didn’t exactly understand the same for you,” Vic says, blushing. Then, she continues, “anyways, um, you know, I really… I really expected to hate being here today, but I uh actually really liked what you had to say,” she says, stumbling slightly over her words, giving him a bright smile. Ripley chuckles, and Vic had never realized how carefree Ripley can be, especially when he chuckles.

“Thank you, I think,” he replies, a little bit flustered. Vic immediately feels as if she should explain herself because not everyone gets her when she starts rambling like this.

“Oh no! No, I’m sorry! I mean-  I mean about what you said. It was depressing, but in a good way!” Vic tries, hoping to diffuse the tension and make herself clear. Instead they both chuckle nervously, flustered and blushing.

“Okay,” Ripley- Lucas says, probably to make her feel better.

“No!” Vic blurts out. “God, no, sorry, sorry,” she says, but Ripley just smiles, chuckling slightly. “I mean you were great.”

“Uh-huh.”

“That was, uh, that was all.” _I sound like an idiot_ , she thinks, but Ripley doesn’t look at her like that. He’s just smiling kindly and his eyes are sparkling slightly, and Vic continues. “What you said, what you shared, was great,” she finishes, smiling brightly at him.

“Well, uh,” Ripley starts to reply nervously, the accent – Australian, maybe – peeking slightly through, “maybe you should get up and share a little, too, next week. I’m sure your experience would help a lot of firefighters,” he says kindly and Vic blushes.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” she says, blushing because she never liked sharing, especially in front of so many people, but Ripley’s smile is gentle, encouraging. So, Vic, decides to give a vague answer, “maybe.” They both chuckle nervously.

“I hope I’ll see you,” he says, smiling. Travis waves at her, and Vic remembers that they’d agreed during the sharing to grab a drink afterwards.

“Well, um, have a great rest of your night, Chief,” she says, smiling brightly at him. In the back of her mind, she regrets having stopped the visits after he almost died in front of her at the hospital, but she’s glad she got this chance to make things right after the skyscraper.

* * *

Months later, when they’re not just Chief Ripley and Hughes, but Lucas and Victoria, she finally addresses it. Well, more like he does.

They’re lying in bed after the heady lust had worn off, their feet tangled together, his arm around her, thumb lazily tracing circles on her arm when Vic realizes that Lucas had once almost died in front of her. She’s thinking of the shift that had ended a couple of hours ago, and her minds drifts to what almost happened before going to what almost happened at the hospital before they were Lucas and Victoria.

At the end of her last shift, there was a major apartment fire downtown that station 19 had responded to, but when it escalated, Sullivan had asked for Lucas. And, then, during overhaul the entire structure had almost collapsed on top of her. And, when she’d finally emerged from the collapsed A-side of the building, Lucas’ eyes were trained on her. But, since 19 wasn’t the only crew at the scene, he’d maintained his chiefly attitude even though all he wanted was to run towards her and pull her into his arms. When she finally met his gaze, she’d seen the haunted look in them, and had felt a pang of guilt. But, once overhaul was done and their shift ended, Lucas had simply picked Vic up, wrapping his arms around her in a rare public display of affection in front of her entire station before murmuring that he was taking her home.

At home, they'd fallen into bed together, peeling each other's clothes off, fingers more urgent than usual. 

She’s not quite sure when the tears start streaming down her face, but Lucas notices and he tilts her chin up, thumb grazing it gently.

“Victoria? What’s wrong?” he asks, blue eyes gazing deeply into hers. “Hey, sweetheart, what is it?” he asks again, propping himself on his side and gazing more steadily at her.  But, Vic doesn’t reply. She just shakes her head and continues to cry. Lucas sits up and pulls her up along with him before wrapping his arms around her and tucking her head under his chin. And, then, Vic’s actually crying. She’s sobbing into his shirt and clinging to him as Lucas simply holds her.

“Y- yyou almost died!” she sobs and Lucas pulls slightly away from her to gaze into her eyes. His own expression is confused.

“Wh- what?” he asks, confused, thumb gently grazing Vic’s cheek. “Sweetheart, what are you talking about? Are you still upset about what happened last month? I’m fine now. My shoulder’s fine. I didn’t die, Victoria, I didn’t die,” he comforts, but it’s not helping Vic.

“No!” she exclaims shaking her head.

“Then tell me. Talk to me, Victoria, just talk to me,” he says gently, blue eyes gazing steadily at her.

“Months ago,” Vic says, the sobbing subsiding. “When you were… when you were interim captain of 19. When you saved my life. And, then, almost died,” she says, hiccupping slightly and realization dawns on Lucas’ face.

“Oh,” he says. “Victoria, that was months ago. I’m fine now.” Vic nods, though her brown eyes are still disbelieving. “Victoria, darling, that was in the past. Please don’t be upset about that. I’m fine, now,” he says, smiling gently at her.

“I know… I _know_ , I just… I yelled at you and you saved my life, and then, you died. Almost died. You almost died right in front of me,” Vic says in between sobs. Lucas wipes her tears away with his thumb before he runs his thumb along her jaw, caressing lightly at the corner of her mouth.

“Of course I saved your life, Victoria. You’re one of my firefighters. Of course I saved your life. I’d do it a million times because you’re _you_ and you’re one of my firefighters. Last night… when that building almost collapsed- my heart stopped. I- II couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move,” he says, his voice breaking on the last words.

“Luke…”

“I love you,” Lucas says, gazing steadily, always so steadily at her. Vic’s breath hitches in her throat. “I’m in love with you. Do you realize that I vowed to never fall in love again? And, then, I met you. And, I’m in love with you. I was… I was broken. I was dark. I buried myself in my work to cope with the fact that my wife cheated on me and left me when I needed her most. And, then you came into my life and you brought light into it. You fixed me, Victoria. You put me back together. And, I’m so in love with you that if I ever lost you… I’d never be able to bear it,” he says and his voice is full of emotion, emotion that he rarely showed her, and he’s full of it. He’s gazing vulnerably at her, as if afraid she’d reject him. But, there was no possible way for that. Lucas always told her she was adorable when she rambled, but Vic had never realized that Lucas was also adorable when he rambled. So, she cups his cheek and meets his steady gaze.

“I love you, too, Lucas,” she says and a small tear falls down his cheek. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ve never, ever, felt this way about someone. And, then you… I just… I’m in love with you,” she says softly. “And, if you died… it would destroy me,” she whispers vulnerably. Lucas nods.

“It’s hard, I know. And, now, it’s harder than before. Because we love each other. But, we’ve got each other, and every night we get to be home together, we should celebrate,” he says before brushing his lips gently against hers. Vic responds immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her as she deepens the kiss, slipping her tongue in his mouth.

“I love you,” she whispers, smiling against his lisp.

“I love you,” he mumbles as his hands drift down to wrap around her waist.

And, then, they fall backwards into bed, and the heady lust is back, headier because they’re both full of emotion and the elation that comes with saying ‘I love you’ for the first time. Their fingers are more urgent as they roam across each other’s body, their lips are fervent against each other and their bodies are pressed together, electricity pulsing beneath their skin.

They may've started as Chief Ripley and Hughes, but he'd saved her life, and now they're Lucas and Victoria.


End file.
